More Principles of War

Alright, you stupid fuckin’ morons! Here’s more things to know about warfare!

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Magna Mater

Magna Mater (Latin, Great Mother): the Redanian Goddess of Light and Motherhood. She’s a lioness with the shiniest mane you’ve ever seen! Her eyes are sunstones. She had to spend her last life fighting not only for her life, but also for her womanhood, and her right to be a mom.

She’s a mom now whether transmisogynoirists like it or not [1] [2]! This mom fights demons, devils, angels, gods, ghosts, and anything else it takes to get people out of whatever afterlife they’re trapped in.

“If that’s not where they want to go, they’re coming with me! ‘If the enemy leaves a door open, you must rush in.’ Sun Tzu, The Art of War. Christian God the Father’s angels may be afraid to tread, but my angels are confident and fearless!”

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Size Matters Quite a Lot

Norawarth: I think the real reason you do not respect King Thranduil and Prince Legolas is because both of them were simply handed their kingdom. Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn, and Lord Elrond worked for theirs.

Calemir: That’s right, they did!

Norawarth: And as everyone knows, the Woodland Realmers are less wise and more dangerous. You consider them a childish obsession. You even consider King Thranduil “a king of yokels“!

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Ardan Elven Marriages are Garbage!

Apparently, the most important components of Ardan Elven marriages are the wedding vows and consummation. That’s stupid! The most important components of any relationship, romantic or otherwise: is love, dedication, and doing your genuine best for your partner(s). If you don’t want to consummate the marriage, just hide out in your bedroom for a week, and everybody will assume you made mischief. Nobody will know if you don’t tell them!

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Advanced Genders 103

Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, there is yet another way we can use Lady Galadriel to explain advanced genders! As stated in the last lesson, her mother named her “Nerwen”. Do you remember what that means?

Chu: It means “man-maiden”!

Kenken: That’s right, it means man-maiden. Well done, Chu! Now, in a world where everything is pretty binary, men sire children, and women give birth to children. In a galaxy far, far away; that’s not necessarily true. Mandalorians, whom we took inspiration for our Calemir’ade philosophy, have a word for male and female―”jagyc” and “dalyc”―but not a word for man and woman. Cui ogir’olar! It’s irrelevant―especially in battle, which is what Mandolorians love to do! They love it a little too much, but every culture has its problems. So, Chu, what do you suppose would be the difference between “jagyc” and “dalyc”, and “man” and “woman”?

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Advanced Genders 102

Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, Ardan Elves already do sort of understand advanced genders already―or at least advanced relationships to gender. Lady Galadriel, if you or any member of your household is reading this, we do sincerely apologize. Alright, Pixxy, hit it!

Pixxy Fire Fist: Lady Galadriel’s mom named her Nerwen! That means “man-maiden”! Does that mean she’s a maiden and a man? That’s something to celebrate! Let’s go celebrate Lady Galadriel’s advanced gender!

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Muindyr

Muindyr = Brothers (Sindarin).

Fair warning, there is a mention of rape in Shadow of Chaos’ segment. In the form of “Malog Bal’s a rapist, let’s kill him!” And thus, a rapist was killed.

Another fair warning: a lot of these characters aren’t from happy homes. Because of course they’re not. Who do you think created all of them? Or in the 843rd’s case, co-created them with my dad. I know whenever I talk about my family, it gets heavy, but it’s not all bad. My dad at least tried to engage with my love of storytelling. He did it during car rides, and I helped! They were basically pseudo-DnD sessions. Can you tell a story while driving? I can’t! That’s awesome, don’t you think? My dad’s the reason Beowulf has such a heavily, intentionally biased of view in his own storytelling! Sometimes, you need to be biased. I am biased in favor of ideals. Ideally, yes, I would’ve been born in a body I could live in and a family that loved me; but I know I wasn’t. And who knows? Would I still be this compassionate had I not gone through all this pain? Or would I turn my eyes away from all the suffering in this world? My traumas didn’t make me a stronger person, but I am who am, and I’m proud of who I am, even if I have to hide who I am as much as possible at “home”. I can be more myself in a story.

“In life you must write your own story, or one will be written for you.”

A.J. Garces, illustrator.

We’ve got a lot of storytelling to do. We need to lie to Chu as much as possible! He’s going from a world with zero people at all to a world with a bunch of different people in it! There’s a lot to catch him up on. And we are absolutely not telling him what actually happened between Mahal and Eru!!! He cries at ghost-type Pokémon, who knows what he’ll do if he encounters a ghost-type person?!

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