Tag: dwarves

Shenanigans in Skyrim (Draft)

Fair warning: there is a mention of rape in Shadow of Chaos’ segment. In the form of “Malog Bal’s a rapist, let’s kill him!” And thus, a rapist was killed. Also just a reminder to myself and the audience that the “I” in a story doesn’t always mean the author.

In Skyrim, anyone declared the Dovahkiin can learn how to slay dragons! Dovahkiin is Dovah for “dragon hunter born” or “dragon hunter child”. Dovah is the language of dragons. Their language is powerful too. You have to read a word and slay a dragon in order to use it. The Men and Mer (Elves) there call it Shouting.

Apologies, Ardan Dwarves, but the Skyrim Dwarves are extinct. The good news is, the Skyrim Dwarves are actually Elves! Their official name is Dwemer (Deep Elves). They’re called Dwarves because they were known for fighting Giants: simpler people whose Mammoths (furry Mûmakil / Oliphaunts) left others alone if others left them alone. Giants are known for batting Dovakiin into the sky. It’s awesome!

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American Economics, for the Ardan Dwarves

Alright, Durin’s Folk, I know I’ve been neglecting you, but as I said, I’ve chosen my side, the Elves! Besides, I tend to write about philosophical things rather than practical things. While I’m sure Middle-Earth Dwarves will also appreciate the principles of nonbinary, transgender, and intersex power, y’all got things to do and caves to hew!

That being said, let’s dive into the most impractical thing on the planet: the American economy.

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The Wrath of Mother Nature

A not-so-innocent sequel to Mahal and Eru for the Innocents.

Yavanna, broiling with anger, prowling in like a lioness about to kill her prey: I cannot believe this! Vána! Varda! Estë! Vairë! Nessa! We need a god-wife talk! Nienna! Get in here too, you’re going to love this!

{The goddesses gather for some gossip!}

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Mahal and Eru for the Innocents

Harnor: Hey, Piko, why don’t you tell this story?

Piko: Absolutely! It was never Eru who was upset at Mahal, it was Yavanna!

Mahal: Aren’t they great? We need some Champions of Tough to handle all the darkness Morgoth’s making! I’ve been teaching them smithing, maths, and sciences! And some basic fighting skills! I have knowledge to share. I know you’re working hard on the Elves. Making Champions of Beauty isn’t easy… I don’t mind if they’re not alive, they’re alive enough for me!

Eru: …You’re right, we do need some Champions of Tough around here. Well done, son. Now. Does your wife know about them?

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