Alternate Dooms for the House of Fëanor

Kenken: We’ve given the Ardan gods plenty of alternate dooms for Fëanor and his kin-slaying brats. They need to decide, first of all, which one(s) they want to go with.

Lucky and Lockdown: Harnor really should just make a list of them, so he doesn’t have to keep hunting them down over and over again.

Piko: Our guy’s no organizer, okay?

Námo: Clearly.

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Rape of the Rings

Piko: So, apparently, Ardan Elves die when they get raped.

Lucky and Lockdown: What…!?

This piece makes a laughing matter out of how rape works in Middle-Earth in order to bring to light how poorly Reality’s rape trials often go, and how poorly rape victims are often treated and depicted. The author acknowledges that rape is no laughing matter. If rape is not a subject matter you care for, especially when it’s treated like this, get thine eyes away from this puerile literature! We gotta find the humor where we can around here. If you can handle that, feel free to proceed.

The author also acknowledges that not every single story on AO3 is a sexfest. Not every single one of my AO3 stories is a sexfest either! It’s just that the sexfest (shipping in general, really) fics get the most attention there. Know your audience, and all that. If you seek free, adult AO3 literature that’s not all sex and shipping, I highly recommend SophiaCatherine and Thette. They were the Adults amongst my initial set of AO3 author friends. Sophia in particular taught me how to embrace writing about non-romantic, non-sexual relationships. Sophia was also the first to teach me the principles nonbinary power!

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Forgotten History

Norawarth: Internet social etiquette is also rather complicated, if you think about it. You have to remind your people, who fought a war over fiefdoms’ rights to own slaves instead of abolishing it like their king commanded them to do, that slavery is evil?

Harnor: The internet’s not just America, but yes.

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Size Matters Quite a Lot

Norawarth: I think the real reason you do not respect King Thranduil and Prince Legolas is because both of them were simply handed their kingdom. Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn, and Lord Elrond worked for theirs.

Calemir: That’s right, they did!

Norawarth: And as everyone knows, the Woodland Realmers are less wise and more dangerous. You consider them a childish obsession. You even consider King Thranduil “a king of yokels“!

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Simarils and the Point of Writing

Calemir: Pixxy, why don’t you just set up the tech we need to watch the movie version?

Pixxy Fire Fist: Yes! Absolutely! Lady Galadriel did more fighting across all six of these things than Lord Glorfindel and her husband! She didn’t fight just anybody, she fought the Dark Lord himself!

Toshiro and Tadashi: And Lord Elrond helped her. We’re Elrondgender now!

Pixxy Fire Fist: Two other stupid old men were there too.

Kenken: Keep in mind, we only have the basic cut. Maybe Lord Glorfindel and Lord Celeborn did some fighting in the extended editions. And Lord Glorfindel a single thing in the books: he guided Bilbo Baggins to Rivendell.

Norawarth: A role that was fulfilled instead by Lady Arwen. As Shadow of Chaos said, we are taking Lord Glorfindel on a new adventure: keeping this child alive long enough to hero-worship all the Ardan mothers he seeks to meet, slay a dragon, and perhaps join a Fellowship.

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The Wrath of Mother Nature

A not-so-innocent sequel to Mahal and Eru for the Innocents.


Yavanna, broiling with anger, prowling in like a lioness about to kill her prey: I cannot believe this! Vána! Varda! Estë! Vairë! Nessa! We need a god-wife talk! Nienna! Get in here too, you’re going to love this!

{The goddesses gather for some gossip!}

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