Category: star wars

A galaxy far, far away featuring sword fights and space flights. We primarily focus on Star Wars: The Clone Wars, although we also appreciate the main 9 movies. I don’t really care about bickering over which trilogy is the best. I’ve never cared about the dorky way Anakin talks in The Phantom Menace; or the midi-chlorians vs philosophical energy hugging, fucking, and binding us debate. I have a better complaint about that movie. Why the fuck did the Jedi make a boy born enslaved call everybody “master”? They shouldn’t have needed any special powers to figure out what trauma that word carried for him, they just needed thoughts in their heads!

Wolfram Tungsten (Draft)

Fair warning: minor mention of suicide and self-harm. Major warning for death and mental health.

Wolfram Tungsten: a village in a land that’s cold enough to have icebergs amble along the coastlines regularly. The nights are long, and the days are short. Its people see twilight more often than daylight. There are ribbons of light that dance in the sky: auroras. The greatest of these is called Bliza’s Serpent, in honor of the Redanian goddess of cold magic. The continent it’s on was called Bronzewood until Tonitus’s brats, the Elves, conquered it and renamed it Claude-Anne Allen. Bliza has cursed the Redanian Elves to this day.

“If you want my lands so badly, keep them!” she said. “But you will never see your ancestral home ever again!”

And Tonitus let her do it.

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Magna Mater

Magna Mater (Latin, Great Mother): the Redanian Goddess of Light and Motherhood. She’s a lioness with the shiniest mane you’ve ever seen! Her eyes are sunstones. She had to spend her last life fighting not only for her life, but also for her womanhood, and her right to be a mom.

She’s a mom now whether transmisogynoirists like it or not [1] [2]! This mom fights demons, devils, angels, gods, ghosts, and anything else it takes to get people out of whatever afterlife they’re trapped in.

“If that’s not where they want to go, they’re coming with me! ‘If the enemy leaves a door open, you must rush in.’ Sun Tzu, The Art of War. Christian God the Father’s angels may be afraid to tread, but my angels are confident and fearless!”

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Ardan Elven Marriages are Garbage!

Apparently, the most important components of Ardan Elven marriages are the wedding vows and consummation. That’s stupid! The most important components of any relationship, romantic or otherwise: is love, dedication, and doing your genuine best for your partner(s). If you don’t want to consummate the marriage, just hide out in your bedroom for a week, and everybody will assume you made mischief. Nobody will know if you don’t tell them!

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Advanced Genders 103

Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, there is yet another way we can use Lady Galadriel to explain advanced genders! As stated in the last lesson, her mother named her “Nerwen”. Do you remember what that means?

Chu: It means “man-maiden”!

Kenken: That’s right, it means man-maiden. Well done, Chu! Now, in a world where everything is pretty binary, men sire children, and women give birth to children. In a galaxy far, far away; that’s not necessarily true. Mandalorians, whom we took inspiration for our Calemir’ade philosophy, have a word for male and female―”jagyc” and “dalyc”―but not a word for man and woman. Cui ogir’olar! It’s irrelevant―especially in battle, which is what Mandolorians love to do! They love it a little too much, but every culture has its problems. So, Chu, what do you suppose would be the difference between “jagyc” and “dalyc”, and “man” and “woman”?

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Advanced Genders 102

Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, Ardan Elves already do sort of understand advanced genders already―or at least advanced relationships to gender. Lady Galadriel, if you or any member of your household is reading this, we do sincerely apologize. Alright, Pixxy, hit it!

Pixxy Fire Fist: Lady Galadriel’s mom named her Nerwen! That means “man-maiden”! Does that mean she’s a maiden and a man? That’s something to celebrate! Let’s go celebrate Lady Galadriel’s advanced gender!

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