Useless Niceties

“We need to stop being polite to conservative boomers and start making their lives a hell that is both unprecedented and unrelenting,” @hachx0: the patron god of this website and the man who got me into streaming.

Don’t waste niceties and pleasantries on people who are slaughtering you.

Continue reading “Useless Niceties”

Fae-Feeding

Children were normally considered precious amongst the Elves; however, relationships amongst Elves could go awry just like they could amongst Men, Dwarves, or any other Folk. While there was nothing Lord Glorfindel could do about his little warrior’s past, he could nurture his future.

“fëa (pl. fëar), and hröa (pl. hröar), are Quenya terms for ‘soul’ (or ‘spirit’) and ‘body’. The Sindarin equivalents are fae and rhaw, respectively.”

Tolkien Gateway wiki.

Elves are cuddly vampires instead of crunchy vampires. Lord Glorfindel is also your old fashioned grandpa raising a 20-something-by-human-standards horrifically abused elf lad adult.

Continue reading “Fae-Feeding”

Wisdom from Raven

Fair warning, bad fictional parenting. It doesn’t get much worse than your father being an actual, literal demon trying to bring about the end of the world.

“When I use my powers, I have to put a little of my soul into whatever I’m moving. I become a part of it and it becomes a part of me.”

Raven, Teen Titans 2003.
Continue reading “Wisdom from Raven”

Focus, Little Fox!

“What do you mean my parentage is ‘in dispute’?!” Lord Glorfindel laughed.

“You’re the only named member of your house,” Umbarto said, wagging his tail like a dog. He was a skin-changer. Currently, he was a fox with bluish-black fur and green eyes.

“Our house,” he said. This was his boy now. He didn’t need Maglor or any of those kin-slayers. He just needed him: his father! If it was easier for him to be a fox than a person, he could be a fox.

Continue reading “Focus, Little Fox!”

Silver Papa Wolves

“Child,” the lord of Lórien spoke with a voice that was as grimly firm as his face. “You need a home. That is all anybody needs to know. And you are correct, you are absurd for even worrying about being ‘adopted out of wedlock’.” He chuckled as he gathered the poor child into his arms. He was the clingiest kitten Lord Celeborn had ever seen, rather justifiably. He had less than an inch of black hair on him, and his eyes were emeralds that were shining with the first polish they’d been given in years.

Continue reading “Silver Papa Wolves”

Wolfram Tungsten (Draft)

Fair warning: minor mention of suicide and self-harm. Major warning for death and mental health.

Wolfram Tungsten: a village in a land that’s cold enough to have icebergs amble along the coastlines regularly. The nights are long, and the days are short. Its people see twilight more often than daylight. There are ribbons of light that dance in the sky: auroras. The greatest of these is called Bliza’s Serpent, in honor of the Redanian goddess of cold magic. The continent it’s on was called Bronzewood until Tonitus’s brats, the Elves, conquered it and renamed it Claude-Anne Allen. Bliza has cursed the Redanian Elves to this day.

“If you want my lands so badly, keep them!” she said. “But you will never see your ancestral home ever again!”

And Tonitus let her do it.

Continue reading “Wolfram Tungsten (Draft)”

Pokémon of the Rings: Golden Rescue Team (Draft)

hello, everyone, to another attempt to start pokemon of the rings!

there’ve been some developments since the last stream. thoughts. long story short: the trainer’s gonna be a formerly? human boy named mike emerald who only speaks 4-5 words at a time, like most pokemon game avatars do. mike, just as i have, has championed just about every region except sword & shield. he was amidst his galaran finals when something happened and now he’s here? something like that. basically, this story’s running on Rule of Funny and Rule of Cool + family drama. let’s just say, lord glorfy’s got baaaad memories of the last person in his care running off into the woods. storytelling over! let’s fucking go!

Continue reading “Pokémon of the Rings: Golden Rescue Team (Draft)”

Shenanigans in Skyrim (Draft)

Fair warning: there is a mention of rape in Shadow of Chaos’ segment. In the form of “Malog Bal’s a rapist, let’s kill him!” And thus, a rapist was killed. Also just a reminder to myself and the audience that the “I” in a story doesn’t always mean the author.


In Skyrim, anyone declared the Dovahkiin can learn how to slay dragons! Dovahkiin is Dovah for “dragon hunter born” or “dragon hunter child”. Dovah is the language of dragons. Their language is powerful too. You have to read a word and slay a dragon in order to use it. The Men and Mer (Elves) there call it Shouting.

Apologies, Ardan Dwarves, but the Skyrim Dwarves are extinct. The good news is, the Skyrim Dwarves are actually Elves! Their official name is Dwemer (Deep Elves). They’re called Dwarves because they were known for fighting Giants: simpler people whose Mammoths (furry Mûmakil / Oliphaunts) left others alone if others left them alone. Giants are known for batting Dovakiin into the sky. It’s awesome!

Continue reading “Shenanigans in Skyrim (Draft)”