Explaining Who I Am to the Daily Show

rewatch every jordan klepper into the magaverse segment and then imagine these proudly outspoken christian god-fearing “not my body” americans are raising greta thunbourg. yeah, it’s fun to laugh at how stubbornly ignorant these metaphorical babies are, but they’re raising literal babies to be just as outspokenly toxic soldiers as them. or silent soldiers like me.

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Family Feud: House of Fëanor Edition

Naming your child(ren) is an important part of parenting, no matter matter if you live in a hellscape in which your name cannot easily be changed―and all parents / guardians need to decide on a single name for their child(ren). Or you live in a progressive-in-this-manner culture (because every culture has its problems) that understands that, generally speaking, there’s more than one parental figure involved in that child’s life; therefore, each of those parental figures is allowed to name that child.

While all signs point to Nerdanel being better at coming up with names, we need a definitive, not subjective at all, absolutely no biases here, competition between her and her balls-less bitch of husband: Fëanor, the man who made all of her babies swear an oath to get all three of his balls back. That’s right, everybody, this bratty little boy was blessed with more balls than most perisex men are, and yet he lost every single one of them. Wow!

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Howdy, Partner

so apparently it’s cringe for straight couples to call each other partner 🤨🙄…

easy solution: start committing crimes! such as providing HRT to trans people! or in some places, be a good parent to your trans child(ren). If only all crimes were this easy to commit!

In which the author has been talking about Lord of the Rings-related nonsense for so long that it’s nice to talk about nonsense that’s purely from reality.

Originally a nested twitter thread, as opposed to a straight up twitter thread. Sometimes things work better as a QRT than as a continuation.

Also fuck capitalization rules. If it’s good enough for twitter, it’s good enough for wordpress. I’ve read so much AO3 stuff that the only real grammar rule I care for is paragraph spacing. And just like AO3 and twitter, reading all this is free.
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Wisdom from Raven

Fair warning, bad fictional parenting. It doesn’t get much worse than your father being an actual, literal demon trying to bring about the end of the world.

“When I use my powers, I have to put a little of my soul into whatever I’m moving. I become a part of it and it becomes a part of me.”

Raven, Teen Titans 2003.
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Magna Mater

Magna Mater (Latin, Great Mother): the Redanian Goddess of Light and Motherhood. She’s a lioness with the shiniest mane you’ve ever seen! Her eyes are sunstones. She had to spend her last life fighting not only for her life, but also for her womanhood, and her right to be a mom.

She’s a mom now whether transmisogynoirists like it or not [1] [2]! This mom fights demons, devils, angels, gods, ghosts, and anything else it takes to get people out of whatever afterlife they’re trapped in.

“If that’s not where they want to go, they’re coming with me! ‘If the enemy leaves a door open, you must rush in.’ Sun Tzu, The Art of War. Christian God the Father’s angels may be afraid to tread, but my angels are confident and fearless!”

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