Mike and the Three Pickles

Small town food shenanigans.

This is a poem I wrote back in college! I forget which year, exactly, but I included it in my senior portfolio―a portfolio that my professor praised for its assortment of writings. Everybody had to have at least one piece from two of three categories (nonfiction, fiction, poetry), but apparently I was the only one who had pieces from all three that year.

I’m judging the pickle competition.

The first one tastes like
dragging myself up at crap o’clock to be here.

The second one tastes like my day off
ruined by incessant noise and people.

The third tastes like
Time of Death_____3:09PM.
Location_________downtown Tiny Tree Town, Jaffshire.
Cause of Death_____the third time was not the charm.

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