Explaining Who I Am to the Daily Show

rewatch every jordan klepper into the magaverse segment and then imagine these proudly outspoken christian god-fearing “not my body” americans are raising greta thunbourg. yeah, it’s fun to laugh at how stubbornly ignorant these metaphorical babies are, but they’re raising literal babies to be just as outspokenly toxic soldiers as them. or silent soldiers like me.

all waspy christians know how to do is sweep problems they’ve caused under the rug.

i’m done sweeping my problems under the rug.

there was a man twice my age wearing, in public, an “adult-ish” t-shirt.

another customer told me she was going to “unleash her inner-five-year-old”.

meanwhile, i’m serving them food and having to pretend to be a functional, happy worker bee after a lifetime of abuse. fuck that nonsense! i’m using all the swear words i like: including fuck! for some people, swear words are the only “bad” words they have to hear. i grew up having fire and damnation preached to me as if it was fact all my life. that everyone’s out to get you and abduct christians from their pews!

i’ve always known my imaginary friends aren’t real. christians refuse to learn that lesson.

christianity is a fandom we’ve given legal protections to.

i’m jesus until the real one shows up and gets his cult under control!

“HFE, thank you for creating and sharing so much art and writing for free. How can we help turn your passion and skills into a full-time gig?”

I’m glad you asked!

If you can give me a one-time tip, head over to ko-fi. I’ve also got emotes and icons you can buy.

If you can commit to a monthly tip, you can set that up via twitch or patreon. Twitch also lets you set up alternate payment schedules: every three months and every six months. Ko-fi lets you set up monthly payments now, too!

You can also buy some characters and critters I’ve designed on toyhouse.

And if you have no money to spare (understandable), one way you can help me out is by commenting and using as many share buttons as possible. Commenting gives me feedback on what works y’all are passionate about. Sharing helps expose my works to new people. The bigger my audience grows, the more audience members with money will encounter my works.

Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope you enjoy what you’ve found here.


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