Red Rebels

The main team I’m going with for my Pokémon / Lord of the Rings crossover. I need to remember that this is a passion project that I’ll never get paid for. I need to stop thinking so hard. This is supposed to be funny!


There’s a lot to translate just between Chu and any Pokémon from any of the Pokémon worlds with people in it, never mind between Pokémon and Middle-Earth. Firstly, his Team Meanies eventually mellowed out, Middle-Earth’s Team Meanies won’t! Secondly, while some of the peoples here do technically become ghost-types, they’re not allowed to wander around freely like Pokémon are (except Nazgûl, who are part of Middle-Earth’s Team Meanies). Thirdly, while we love making as many friends as possible, we need to stay with the Elves. Elves can talk to all the animals; Dwarves can only talk to ravens. And as the wise, learned ones, the Elves will definitely be able to tell the difference between our dark-type friends and the Middle-Earth ilk. First of all, we call them dark-type friends; that’s a pretty big clue already! Another big clue is how Eevees become Umbreons.

Now, regarding combat mechanics, for moves / spells with multi-turn effects, we have defined a “turn” as lasting one minute. Regarding the range of these moves, we’re going with range as defined in the Pokémon world with people in it, with slight alterations to account for how much more open Middle-Earth is than any Pokémon world; plus, another alteration to Heat Wave and Sparkly Swirl because there are more directions someone can attack you from than in front of you. This is important in case we bring in any weather-changing friends like Piko. Like I said, this is the main team. Everybody else is staying in storage!

We’re also altering Moonlight to be time-dependent rather than weather dependent. Why the fuck is Moonlight’s healing determined by the weather rather than by what time of day it is!? This makes sense for the older games that didn’t have a day/night cycle, but they do now! If the devs aren’t gonna update this, I will!

We must be swift as the coursing river.

With all the force of a great typhoon.

With all the strength of a raging fire.

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

David Joel Zippel and Matthew Wilder.

We’re also fucking Power Points. I’ve looked up enough shit. If the anime gets to ignore power points, so do I! We’re using our best judgement. More powerful spells need to be recharged before their user can cast them again.

Second to lastly, since most spells target one opponent unless stated otherwise, any extra damage will splash over to the nearest enemy that hasn’t fainted yet. You’ll soon notice that most of them only have destructive spells, with the odd stat-boosting, and / or healing spell or two. All I ever do is teach my Pokémon destructive spells. And that’s all they have to be here: the most destructive animals Middle-Earth has ever seen! Both in terms of magicks, words, and personalities.

Lastly, we are intentionally preventing them from being able to kill things! Any single one of them could completely trash the place, never mind the poor peoples!!!

  • Shadow: Unovan Zoroark (dark). A grey fox walking on two feet with red claws. He has dark red fur and dark gray highlights pulled back into a ponytail. He wears a red bandana over his neck fluff, parted to the side rather than centered; as well as glasses that are completely black.
    • Illusion: shape-shifting; returns to his true form if he is hit by an attack. Can only transform into children while a Zorua. Once he’s a Zoroark, he can shape-shift into adults.
    • Black Glasses: boosts the power of dark-type attacks; also allows Shadow to see during the day.
      • “‘To be a true ninja, you must become one with the shadows. Darkness gives the ninja power, while light reveals the ninja’s presence,’ ― Master Splinter. Sometimes, light shines too brightly to see the truth.”
    • Foul Play (dark. physical): calculates damage using the target’s physical strength.
      • “‘Only by focusing on our inner strength can we overcome our enemy.’ ― Master Splinter.”
    • Beat Up (dark. physical): deals damage based on how many allies are nearby. More allies = more damage.
      • “‘Ooh, our trainer counts now too? Interesting…”
    • Mean Look: prevents the target from escaping.
      • “‘You don’t realize it, Raven, but you’re actually the most hopeful person I’ve ever met. From the day you were born, they said you were evil, that you were created to do unspeakable things. But you wished for more. You dared to hope that you could be a hero,’ ― Robin, Teen Titans 2003.”
    • Moonlight: heals the user fully when under a full moon, 3/4s of their max health under gibbous moons, half their max health under half moons, 1/4 under crescent moons, 1/6 their max health under new moons, and 1/8 when the moon’s not out at all.
  • Icy Eyes: Corviknight (flying / steel). A seven-foot-tall, dark blue, armored bird with eyes as glacial as his name suggests. He wears his red bandana on his left leg.
    • Pressure: opponents tire quicker than normal.
      • “People know what we’re saying around here? We all need to stop swearing like sailors! …Yes, freakin’ counts as a swear word! Never mind, there’s no saving you bitches. Alright, kid, just remember, any new words you learn from us, assume they’re dangerous. However, if anybody’s hurting you, use all the foul language you need to in order to get someone to help you. Getting people’s attention is what foul language is good for. Use that power wisely.”
    • Muscle Band: powers up physical moves.
      • “Everybody, buddy up! Shadow with Chu, Solnishko with Riley, and Pixxy with me!”
    • Roost: heals the user, but also grounds them until they take flight again.
      • “I’m carrying the leader’s badge until further notice!”
    • Brave Bird (flying, physical): so powerful that it deals recoil damage to the user.
    • Steel Wing (steel, physical): deals damage and potentially raises the user’s physical defense.
      • “Not only that, but people fight with weapons?! To the death!?!”
    • Hone Claws: boosts the user’s physical attack and accuracy.
      • “Pixxy, you better not run off! That’s barely acceptable in any Pokémon world, never mind whatever hellscape this is.”
  • Pixxy: Alolan Ninetales (ice / fairy). A foggy-furred fox with nine tails. Do not touch her tails without permission! She wears her red bandana atop her head to help keep her fur back.
    • Flash Fire: powers up fire-type moves when hit with one.
    • Reunion Cape: brings the user back to their teammates when they’re separated. If the party is split, Pixxy returns to whoever’s holding the leader’s rescue team badge. While some conversations need to be kept private, she’s always running off. The range is however short it needs to be.
    • Dazzling Gleam (fairy, special): strikes all adjacent enemies in front of the user.
      • “I love this move! It’s super pretty!”
    • Dig (ground, physical): the user burrows underground, and then strikes their opponent a minute later.
      • “I can dig up dirt on anyone! What kind of dirt is there to dig up here?”
    • Aurora Beam (ice, special): deals damage and potentially lowers the target’s physical attack.
      • “Yeah, there’s better ice-type moves out there, but this one goes in a straight line. It’s the easiest one for me to use. Plus, it’s the prettiest!”
    • Heat Wave (fire, special): hits all foes around the user. Also has 10% chance of inflicting a Burn, reducing the target’s physical attack by 50%; Burns also drain 1⁄8 of someone’s max health per minute.
  • Chu: Kantoan Raichu (electric). An orange mouse whose tail ends in a thunderbolt. He wears a red bandana around his neck, and he walks on two feet as if he’s a person! His electrical power is stored in his yellow cheeks.
    • Static: offensive contact causes Paralysis, reducing an enemies speed by 50% and prevents them from attacking 25% of the time.
      • “Where exactly are we?”
    • Mach Ribbon: boosts Chu’s speed.
      • “Some Pokémon become more powerful by speeding up, some Pokémon become more powerful by slowing down. Pokémon are weird, but that’s just how we are!”
    • Disarming Voice (fairy, special): deals damage and ignores all accuracy and evasion changes; strikes all nearby foes in front of the user.
      • “We can’t keep camping forever, we need a real home base.”
    • Electro Ball (electric, special): deals more damage based on how much faster the user is than his target.
      • “Why do Elves and Dwarves hate each other so much? Elves are aristocats, and Dwarves are great at finding treasure! If we only had electric-type Pokémon in our rescue team, we’d be super weak to ground-type Pokémon. People are weird!”
  • Commander Riley: Eevee (normal). A silver, fox-like creature. He wears pink and light blue flowers on his ears, tail, and neck fluff―as well as a red bandana on his left foreleg.
    • Run Away: the user can run away from anything; however, they can’t run toward.
      • “Ooh, I’ve a special ability now!? Sweet! Play with me! Me, me, me, me, me! Why are you playing with anybody else!? Play with me instead! Only me! Only me, only me, only me!”
    • Light Clay: extends Baddy Bad’s protection to eight minutes instead of five.
      • “I can use held items now too? Awesome! And that’s Commander Riley to you! …I’m the Commander of Cuddling!”
    • Bouncy Bubble (water, physical): a watery tackle that heals the user of half the damage it deals.
      • “This lets me freakin’ wreck Solnishko!”
    • Sparkly Swirl (fairy, special): attacks all opponents around the user and heals all status effects afflicting the user and their party.
      • “This lets me freakin’ wreck Shadow!”
    • Baddy Bad (dark, special): halves damage the user and their allies receive from physical attacks for five minutes, minimum, in addition to dealing damage.
      • “This one keeps everyone from wrecking me!”
    • Sappy Seed (grass, physical): deals damage; afterwards, the target is Seeded, healing the user with damage drained from the target every minute. This damage equals 1⁄8 of their maximum health. Once a target becomes Seeded, they cannot become Seeded again to increase how much damage is drained―i.e. Commander Riley can’t turn 1⁄8 into 7⁄8 or, god forbid, a full 8⁄8.
      • “Everybody’s hair needs some flowers! Flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers! I’m gardening everybody’s hair!”
  • Solnishko: Raboot (fire). He’s an orange-and-navy rabbit who walks on two feet. He’s got extra fur around his stomach that he uses like pockets. What exactly does he have in those pockets? He wears his red bandana over his forehead with the bow tied in front. The right side of his face is a cobweb of scars. His right eye is white instead of orange: “gifts” from his original trainer.
    • Blaze: boosts fire-type attacks when the user’s health is low.
      • “Oh, I’ve got Commander Riley, alright!”
    • Charcoal: boosts the power of fire-type moves.
      • “He’s the most stupidly overly competitive boy you’ve ever seen. He needs to remember that I’m faster than him! My physical attack and special defense are higher than his too 😁!”
    • Double Kick (fighting, physical): two rapid kicks.
      • “You need a Double Kick in the ass! You’re the most stupidly overly competitive boy in the multiverse! Mel can have more than one friend, you know!”
    • Pyro Ball (fire, physical): another super powerful fire-type attack with 10% chance of Burning a target.
    • Helping Hand: boosts all nearby allies’ physical and special attack for one minute.
      • “Stop using Taunt and use Helping Hand! Who needs a Helping Hand around here?”
    • Shadow Ball (ghost, special): potentially lowers the target’s special defense, in addition to dealing damage.
      • “Let’s teach everyone how to play soccer! And capture the flag!”

This is the most balanced team i’ve ever had… XD! And i just picked these mons by what fit best + what i wanted.

Link to the team builder site I used to test out the weaknesses & resistances.

Link to a size comparison chart I did for the team.

The first one’s a patreon exclusive. $5 to gaze upon that and the exploits of the fabled Carantherion! Anyone from alternate galaxies, just imagine five of your base currency. In a galaxy far, far away, that means five Credits; in Middle-Earth, that means five gold… Toshiro’s right, I need to start having more exclusives! I need to be more like an Arden Dwarf: greedy, stubborn, and secretive! I know my people are poor, but so am I! No more Mister Nice Guy! Being so stupidly self-sacrificing is how I got into this mess!

I will learn how to draw a Corviknight even if it kills me! They have weird shapes and same-y colors. Not great for my art style. Plus, I rarely draw birds. Maybe if I pretend it’s cat-shaped…


“So, HFE, how do we give you some money for all this content you’re creating and sharing for free? We want you to make this a full-time gig rather than a passion project!”

I’m glad you asked!

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Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope you enjoy what you’ve found here.

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