Foxalot (Draft)

Camelot, with extra magic and foxes, a tomboy king, and a queen who is immune to fire.

writing vod. originally aired March 23, 2022.

Shadow: Your wife is cheating on you! Doesn’t that make you want to burn her at the stake?

Pixxy: No??? Are you kidding me? Polyamory was literally one of the first things I legalized around here!

Shadow: Well, how are we going to burn the queen at the stake if there’s no crime to burn her for?

Pixxy: Well, idiot, first of all, I also made her immune to fire, so nobody will be able to burn her at the stake even if they wanted to! Second of all, there’ll be plenty of drama around here without murder by fire. Just watch!

[{Post-stream add-on DLC: just for clarification, polyamory is not cheating on your partner(s). True polyamory involves all parties’ communication and permission, even if all parties’ communication and permission amounts to “play with whoever you like, but come home to me.” This is why we have rough drafts, everybody. Further reading: Writing Polyamorous Characters in Romance by Evelyn Silver. I’m leaving the old intro in here to reiterate that everybody makes mistakes, including me. I apologize for whoever was / is / will be harmed by perpetuating the stereotype that polyamorous people are unfaithful to their partners. Polyamory is old news to me, but for anyone who’s just learned of the concept, or polyamorous people who are tired of the same sad tropes over and over again when other people depict their lives, this kind of misinformation can do a lot of harm. Polyam people are just trying to live their lives, and (some) monogamous people are looking for any information they can find.}]

Better Intro.

Shadow: Your wife is cheating on you! Doesn’t that make you want to burn her at the stake?

Pixxy: No??? We have better ways of dealing with marital problems than murdering them by fire!

Shadow: Well, how are we going to burn the queen at the stake if there’s no crime to burn her for?

Pixxy: What is with you wanting to burn people alive?! Get out of here! And don’t come back until you learn real woman-loving skills!


Camelot, with extra magic and foxes.

Foxalot?

Camefox?

King Arthur: Pixxy, Foxyqueen.

Queen Guenivere: Norawarth, Kittyqueen.

Sir Lancelot: Kenken, Sir Readsalot.

Sir Dinadan: Piko,Sir Pikadan.

Sir Sagramore: Lucky, Sir Lion.

Sir Lionel: Lockdown, Sir Tiger.

Mordred: Shadow, Horror of Hell.

[{So what just happened there was I had to grab the “parts” and characters from a google sheet, and then I had to switch between files for a second to update the one we’re looking at now.}]

[{Note to self: update the chat rules.}]

[{Also, welcome first time viewers and returning viewers ❤ How is everybody doing? The audio is mostly to collect the keyboard clicky sounds, so I hope everyone can hear them.}]

[{Thank you for the raid: TheTigerWrites! and welcome, raiders! We just got started. We’re doing a foxy version of Camelot where Queen Guinevere is immune to fire, King Arthur is a tomboy, and polyamory is legal; so Queen Guinevere’s typical downfall: being burned alive at the stake, is unable to be done even if King Arthur wanted to burn her alive.

As our King Arthur said, there’ll be plenty of drama without murdering people by fire.}]

Nora of the House of Wrath had finally found Foxalot: a land where the trees shimmied to the breeze and shimmered with golden lantern light at night. All her life, she’d heard fire instead of trees or water like the rest of her family. The fire would swirl, chasing its tail like a dog or an especially playful cat.

“Ooh, you’re just like our king!” said the flames. “Come play with us! Fire isn’t just destructive, you know. Fire also keeps you warm. If your own family has no warmth for you, the people of Foxalot will welcome you into theirs.”

Nora was cold, and her body was drenched. She knew not how. For whatever reason, any time she looked upon the river, she grew a fear so intense she would lose what daylight remained. She did not wish to arrive in Foxalot ragged and filthy, but she came to understand that her own spirit was more important. She would not touch the water even if it begged her for her affections.

Nora’s hair came to hang down her face like tendrils, and the once fine red robes typical of her house became frayed and thin from wear.

“Wow, there’s finally someone who’s even more afraid of water than me!” said a yellow-scarfed knight in orange armor.

“Who are you?” Nora asked, drawing her dagger. The hilt was encrusted with rubies that, like Nora herself, desperately needed a wash. It was mostly a ceremonial blade, but it could be used for a desperate defense.

“Sir Lion of the House of Luck,” he grinned. He swirled his finger. “By the way, my brother’s right behind you.”

Nora spun to strike, but the brother, a yellow-scarfed knight in light blue armor, blocked the blade with his own in a manner that made her dagger slide harmlessly.

“Who the hell taught you how to fight? They should be embarrassed!” the blue knight laughed. “And what kinda weapon is that anyway?”

“Any weapon can be deadly if it’s used right!” said Sir Lion.

“True, but she’s not using it right!” said the blue knight.

“I guess it’s up to us to teach her then!” Sir Lion linked arms with Nora, who was too flummoxed to resist. “Let’s go, kid! The fair’s in town, and we’re getting ready to fight Sir Pikadan!”

“That asshole wins every year,” the blue knight grumbled. “If our brother actually cared to fight him, he’d be able to take him just fine, but nooooo! All he wants to do is read whatever stupid book he’s got. So it’s up to us: Sir Lion, Sir Lock, and…!? Say, kid, what’s your name?”

“Nora,” she said simply, thinking it quite strange to be called a young goat, especially since they seemed younger than her. “Lady Nora of the House of Wrath.” It was her first time explicitly referring to herself out loud as a lady rather than a lord. It felt wonderful, as natural as finding a seashell on a beach.

“You’re part of what house?!” the brothers said.

“Why don’t you just say you’re our cousin or something?” Sir Lion suggested. “Sometimes, it’s better to be Houseless than Housed.”

Sir Lock nodded in agreement.

“What reputation does my House have here?” Nora dared to ask on the way.

“Oh, boy!” Sir Lock snickered, linking arms with her like his brother had done. “What reputation doesn’t your House have is more like it!”

“Like my brother said, just say you’re Lady Nora of the House of Luck instead,” Sir Lion said. “You can’t live in a haunted house.”

“Indeed…” Nora agreed. The more she tried to remember anything beyond her old House’s name, the less she could recall specific memories. She knew she hadn’t exactly fit in amongst them, with her fire-speech instead of water-speech and tree-speech. Although one of her older brothers knew quite a few beast-speeches thanks to his friendship with their land’s Lord of the Hunt…

{[Just a quick self-check-in. Feeling excited to be streaming yet also feeling like I need a nap. Planning to at least finish up this Velts, and then perhaps stream again later on tonight.]}

[{Hope everyone’s doing well. This is my first stream in a while, so it’s good to be back! But I’m also thinking about the 6-hour streams wondering how the hell did i pull that off? i had so much energy back then XD.]}

Sir Lion and Sir Lock brought her to their tent. There were two bed rolls pushed together, one bedroll set apart, a rack for their blades, and a small table with three backless chairs. Sir Lock brought a crate over to act as another chair.

“Here, this is what I use,” Sir Lion handed her a bottle of what was called waterless shampoo. “Like I said, not a big fan of water.”

“Seems like Luck didn’t shine on you last time around,” said Sir Lock. “But maybe your fortune will change in Foxalot!”

“Thank you for your kindness,” Nora, Lady Nora, said. “I swear on my honor, I’ll yield good things upon our House.”

“Don’t worry about that garbage right now,” Sir Lion said. “You just got here! You’ve got better things to worry about: your clothes! Those clothes have seen enough battles. I’ll find you something better! Lock, stay with our cousin!”

“You got it!”

Nora was honored. These two really were quite generous. He wondered if they were typical of their House or standouts. He wondered what their brother would have to say of her. Hoping for his approval, she washed herself with the special soap according to its instructions. They appeared to be printed on the bottle, and in identical, perfectly even lettering. She wondered what kind of writer had such flawless handwriting. She hoped her own would be considered splendid. There’d been quite a few disagreements between her parents as to whether to teach her to write with her left or her right hand. Her mother considered the matter a moot point once she’d demonstrated skill in both hands, although her father insisted on her writing only with her right hand when others were watching.

Her father was prone to his suspicions, that much she remembered; and her mother was a balm to his wrath, at least while Nora had been a child. The balm seemed to fail more spectacularly the greater in reputation he and their family grew.

She was of the House of Luck now, not the House of Wrath. She intended to make the best of it.

{[Alright, that’ll do it for this session. Thank you for coming, everyone! Let’s find someone to raid!]}


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