American Economics, for the Ardan Dwarves

Alright, Durin’s Folk, I know I’ve been neglecting you, but as I said, I’ve chosen my side, the Elves! Besides, I tend to write about philosophical things rather than practical things. While I’m sure Middle-Earth Dwarves will also appreciate the principles of nonbinary, transgender, and intersex power, y’all got things to do and caves to hew!

That being said, let’s dive into the most impractical thing on the planet: the American economy.

  1. The paper money is made of cotton and linen. It’s also worth more than the coinage, which is made of actually precious materials.
  2. All the money has “in Christian God we trust” because fuck those Communist bastards! And Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics, and anybody else who doesn’t worship or trust that allegedly awesome god.
  3. Barely anybody carries cash nowadays because we’ve all been using Simaril / internet money for decades.
    • “How the hell does Simaril money work, HFE?”
    • Every bank and merchant (and finally, the movie theater!) in my area has a Simaril.
    • Everybody carries a card that either tells the merchants’ Simaril that the cardholder can afford to buy something, or lets them buy it on credit.
    • Some merchants only take credit, some merchants only take debit.
  4. We measure the economy not by anything that makes sense (such as say, average quality of life), but by watching a number that wealthy people love hiking higher despite already having more than enough money for their own survival needs and creature comforts millions of times over.
  5. Billionaires prefer stealing their workers’ wages rather than giving their workers higher wages to steal. That’s a little self-defeating, don’t you think? Give your workers higher wages, and you’ll have more wages to steal, sillies! Take pride in your dishonest work!
James Stephanie Sterling talks money.

“So, HFE, how do we give you some money for all this content you’re creating and sharing for free? How do we give you some more financials to handle? We want you to make this a full-time gig rather than a passion project!”

I’m glad you asked!

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