Prank War!

Shadow of Chaos: Let’s get down to business: playing the best prank ever! The only Skyrim Shout we need is Summon Durnehviir. It summons an actually scary dragon; not a cutesy, colorful, and ultimately harmless one from the Pokémon world. And Thranduil, who is very, very, very scared of dragons, will do whatever it takes to keep our guy as far away from him as possible!

Wolfgang: We don’t do everything with Pokémon magic around here!

Chu: Why do we want to play a prank on Thranduil? Isn’t he Legolas Greenleaf’s dad?

Kenken: Well, Chu, like we said, just because you grow up in a bad family doesn’t mean you’ll become a bully. The problem is, Thranduil’s not respecting the best defender of his kingdom: Captain Tauriel.

Chu: Why?

Kenken: Well, she’s a Silvan Elf, and in Thranduil’s mind, that means she’s beneath him―even before you add in the fact that he’s the king and she’s one of his subjects. Not only is she a fighter, but she’s also a healer. Not just anybody can wield Ardan magic, but she can. Not all healers have their patients’ best interests in mind. They’re people too, but the most important rule of any warfare is to always respect the healers. And Thranduil is not respecting that healer! Legolas isn’t really respecting her either. He’s such a ragingly prideful youth that he’s jealous of one of her patients. She’s a healer! Of course she’s intent on doing whatever it takes to keep that guy alive! And as someone who saved his life, that patient will be indebted to her. He’ll fight for her place amongst his people, Legolas won’t! Legolas is relying on her loyalty to a home that doesn’t feel like home to her. His father is so busy bullying her for being “a lowly Silvan Elf” and over what love is, that the minute Legolas leaves, so will she.

Chu: Why isn’t he helping her? I thought Legolas was awesome…

Kenken: Well, Chu, sometimes, awesome people lose their way in life.

Acharor: Both of the remaining Woodland Realm royals are childish! Legolas and Thranduil don’t deserve her! Those aren’t gods or royals or husbands, they’re just random guys named Agarthaw!!! There’s more corrupt things in that forest than the river. Thranduil needs to relearn how to lead Silvan Elves from Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn! They have better things to do than start cat fights with their own subjects. Even if they do consider themselves better than their Silvan subjects, they’re noble enough to keep such thoughts to themselves.

Agarthaw = Agarthaw Corrupt/Rotten Blood. Sindarin.


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