Muindyr = Brothers (Sindarin).

Fair warning, there is a mention of rape in Shadow of Chaos’ segment. In the form of “Malog Bal’s a rapist, let’s kill him!” And thus, a rapist was killed.

Another fair warning: a lot of these characters aren’t from happy homes. Because of course they’re not. Who do you think created all of them? Or in the 843rd’s case, co-created them with my dad. I know whenever I talk about my family, it gets heavy, but it’s not all bad. My dad at least tried to engage with my love of storytelling. He did it during car rides, and I helped! They were basically pseudo-DnD sessions. Can you tell a story while driving? I can’t! That’s awesome, don’t you think? My dad’s the reason Beowulf has such a heavily, intentionally biased of view in his own storytelling! Sometimes, you need to be biased. I am biased in favor of ideals. Ideally, yes, I would’ve been born in a body I could live in and a family that loved me; but I know I wasn’t. And who knows? Would I still be this compassionate had I not gone through all this pain? Or would I turn my eyes away from all the suffering in this world? My traumas didn’t make me a stronger person, but I am who am, and I’m proud of who I am, even if I have to hide who I am as much as possible at “home”. I can be more myself in a story.

“In life you must write your own story, or one will be written for you.”

A.J. Garces, illustrator.

We’ve got a lot of storytelling to do. We need to lie to Chu as much as possible! He’s going from a world with zero people at all to a world with a bunch of different people in it! There’s a lot to catch him up on. And we are absolutely not telling him what actually happened between Mahal and Eru!!! He cries at ghost-type Pokémon, who knows what he’ll do if he encounters a ghost-type person?!

Shadow of Chaos. Poochyena (dark). Run Away, Rattled (raises speed when hit with a bug, dark, or ghost type move), Chaos Control. Crunch, Fire Fang, Poison Fang (may cause severe poisoning), Swagger (sharply raises target’s physical power, but causes confusion). “Traditions never kept us safe, darkness did.” He’s my first creation, of course he goes everywhere with me. He’s not just a man of action, he’s a demon of action! “I know my name as Dechir!” Shadow Lord. He can’t see during the day unless he wears midnight cloth (or something over his eyes, such as sunglasses or his daedric helmet). sunshine is too bright for him. he can see firelight, starlight, and moonlight just fine though. has the tongue of a snake, and eyes that are only red. he might be protective, but he has the better panic button ever: Chaos Control! Chaos Control destroys all enemies, in addition to pausing time for a bit. “It’s actually called Chaos Inferno, but he’s never called it that. He doesn’t even call the Simarils by their names. He calls them Star Tree Balls’.” Their idiot maker rejected all his wife’s names for their youngest twins. We’re rejecting his names for the Simarils! “Sometimes, light shines too brightly to see the truth. And some people cannot see the forest for the trees.” Shadow didn’t start out as a Dremora Lord. That’s what he became in Skyrim. “It was a plot to root out Malog Bal. That’s guy’s a King of Rape, of course we wanted to get rid of that guy! We’re not just dragon-slayers, we’re god-killers! Rape is a very inappropriate thing to be a god of. After that, we had plenty of magic to learn a trick called Twin Souls, which let us bring Shimmer along. An angel? Twin souls with a Dremora Lord??? We turned that world upside-down! Middle-Earth will be a piece of cake!” Shadow started out as a clone of a Sonic Hero named Shadow the Hedgehog: a young man who’d lost his memory, and was found by a bat rogue and a super destructive robot! He was never a perfect clone, either. Shadow the Hedgehog has red stripes, my Shadow has no stripes. “In Sonic Heroes, you have to switch leaders in order to complete the mission. Harnor’s never needed a guard for his honor, he needs a guard for himself. He’s more afraid of people than of balrogs, dragons, werewolves, vampires, and Morgoth! As he should be, we were the ones actually taking care of him. Monsters are better teachers than people. We have to adapt to survive. We’re monsters! And as far as he’s concerned, so is he. Sometimes, the voices inside your head are better than the voices you hear outside your head. And trust me, I’m definitely a better voice than anything he heard from his family. Normally, I’m the ‘do whatever it takes to keep this guy alive’ guy. There’s a better guy for that: Lord Glorfindel! The reason we keep saying Lord Glorfindel’s parentage is in dispute is because he’s the only named member of the House of the Golden Flower. And Harnor’s a Balrog-slayer, too, technically. He Balrog-slays them to sleep! Let me demonstrate: Lucky! Use Rest right now! …Ta-da! Not all orphans need a guardian! This one does. He trips walking up the stairs. No! Do not bring this guy off into battle! He has more important things to worry about: getting a good night’s sleep and eating three meals a day. The only reason he doesn’t want to go by Calemir is because, well, he doesn’t want to lie to the trees of Lothlórien… He is the anti-Aredhel. You have to convince him to go on a journey. Drag him kicking and screaming to Erebor if that’s what you have to do to get him to slay the dragon, not guard Bilbo Baggins’ house! He spent so long repressing his instincts in order to be perfectly obedient―and frankly, subservient―to his family, that he doesn’t know which Ardan family to trust anymore. Another reason he’s ill-suited for war is because he over-prepares for everything! Even I’m plenty of protection on my own. Like I said in his writings on Fate, he may play for Team Dark, but his favorite theme song is Team Rose’s. You think this is a vacation for him? Oh no, this is a vacation for me! From one lord to another, good luck! And by the way, later on on when he says ‘the Amrod-y traits’, he means physical traits. The backstory, he came up with on his own.” Haat, Ijaa, Haa’it – “Truth, Honor, Vision”—said when sealing a pact. (Mando’a proverb).

Piko. Pikachu (electric) with a blue hat. wears his cap backwards. my partner Pikachu in Pokémon world with people in it. Pick Up (Piko can pick up anything, including languages and enchanted items such as Mjolnir), Lightningrod (all electric-type spells target him instead, powering up his magical attack). Brick Break (destroys Light Screens and Reflects, as well as dealing damage), Rain Dance (causes rainy weather), Thunder (never misses during rain, accuracy decreases during harsh sunlight), Meteor Mash (steel. potentially raises user’s physical strength). He refuses to evolve, even though that would make him more powerful. “I was his partner Pikachu back in the human Red Rebels. This guy is always expected to be in a leadership position. Me, Shadow, and the 843rd can all read maps for him. He doesn’t need to do everything on his own, he can just delegate.” If he hears a single word of a language, he can speak it fluently. He never handled the fighting, he handled the talking. He’s ready to fight with more than just words! “I spoke 47 different languages even before we got here, of course I know Khuzdul! No language is secret from me! I have a special ability called Pick Up. I can Pick Up anything, including languages and enchanted items! I’m only speaking Khuzdul, Exilic Quenya, and Exilic Sindarin! Pixxy thinks she’s the ultimate thunderer?! That’s me! She can be the Corporal, but I’m the Sergeant. I’m going by Achardir.” Avenger. Sometimes, opposites attract; but sometimes, you need someone who’s just like you. Pixxy Fire Fist needs someone who’s as much of a bully as her! Someone who can override her when she acts too unwisely. I let her run off because she has a lot of energy to burn. That’s just fine in Redania, but there’s legit danger here. Give her as many distractions as possible, and she’ll behave herself. “Fuck Star Wars, let’s put on a play!” Aliit ori’shya tal’din – “Family is more than blood.” (Mando’a proverb).

Chu (Japanese. squeak). Kantoan Raichu (electric) with a red bandana around his neck (electric). Static (offensive contact may cause paralysis). Draining Kiss (fairy, heals the user by draining the foe), Grass Knot. Agility (sharply boosts speed), Electro Ball (stronger if the user is faster than the target), Grass Knot (deals more damage to heavier opponents). My original partner Pikachu in the Pokémon world without people in it. He’s going from a world with zero people at all to a world with a bunch of different people. I’m a little overprotective of him―as I should be! The evildoers there eventually mellowed out, the evildoers here won’t. In the Pokémon world without people in it, just because you defeat someone in battle doesn’t mean they’ll join your rescue team. Pokémon choose to join you willingly, or they go back into the wild. If somehow, Pokémon do manage to die, they just become ghost types! “Rally, Red Rebels!” Chu! We need a Rescue Team! Chu is afraid of everything, including ghost type Pokémon. Piko’s the perfect Sempai for him. Piko’s a rock star, Chu’s a pop star. He was curious as to why the Elves hate the Dwarves so much and vice-versa. Piko knows that the underlying reason is because Eru made Aulë act as if to kill them. What we told Chu is that Elves are the grass-type people, and Dwarves are the ground-type people. And the ground-type people are tired of the grass-type people always thinking they’re inherently better than them. Grass-type Pokémon have the most amount of weaknesses out of any type of Pokémon. They’re weak to fire, ice, bug, poison (those should be pretty obvious), and flying-type moves. The problem is, Eru didn’t create any fire, ice, bug, poison, or flying type people; so the grass-type people think they’re invulnerable. Like hell they are! We play with all the animals, including the dark-type ones, is that understood? (We’ll tell him a version of what happened between Eru and Mahal later. I’ll be honest, I want a version of the story without child abuse too… Besides, there’s better things to be upset at Mahal about besides playing with dolls: why didn’t he create any women!? Statistically speaking, all his kids should be dead with how weighted the gender count is.) Chu, I’ve got the perfect Ardan Elven name for you: Tinwendil (lover of the spark)! “What do I need an Elven name for?” Well, you sparked joy into my life all these years ago, just like the Elves did. I want the Elves to meet you. And you told me that the spirit of the Team Red Rebels is to never give up! “That’s right!” If I’m honest, the first Redanian prince was named in honor of a Man named Aragorn, son of Arathorn; and Prince Legolas of the Woodland Realm. “Leader Leaf” is a very silly name by Ardan standards, but everything’s silly in Redania! Now, Chu, If you want to come along, just remember, sometimes, you’ll need to stay in your Pokéball, okay? It’s a lot more dangerous out here than it is in the Pokémon world. “Okay!” Not everybody is suited for every adventure. “I know that!” I know you do, but it’s always nice to have reminders. Ner vod – “my brother/sister”; colloquially also “my friend”. (Mando’a proverb).

Pixxy Fire Fist. Braixen (fire / psychic) (formerly a Vulpix, fire). Blaze (boosts fire-type moves in a pinch), Magician (steals an item from an opponent she hits), Flash Fire (increases fire power when hit with a fire-type move). Fake Tears (sharply lowers magic defense), Fire Blast (super powerful fire-type magical attack), Pyschic (potentially lowers magic defense), Thief (steals the target’s held item, in case Magician doesn’t work properly), Ally Switch (swaps places with a teammate). She does not speak softly, nor does she carry a big stick. She speaks loudly and carries a magical stick! She’s blind. I originally gave her a guide wolf: Shadowron Icy Eyes, but she doesn’t need him anymore. I do. She can follow fire now! Anything with a heat signature (or lack thereof), she can see. “You’re going to Middle-Earth without me? Are you kidding me!? You need a corporal anyway. I’m the corporal now!” That’s the perfect job for her. She’s responsible enough… maybe. Someone needs to handle the thundering around here~. “If you don’t want to ride a Xerneas, ride a warg instead!” She’s really excited to meet Lady Galadriel. “I was inspired by Lady Galadriel! Of course I want to meet her! Let’s get this show on the road!” She’s going to call Lord Celeborn Lady Galadriel. She’s going to sing You Are My Sunshine. “Lord Celeborn needs to accept that he’s on the mom squad now too! Lady Galadriel is in touch with her manly side, Lord Celeborn can get in touch with his womanly side! We are unapologetically making mischief!” You know how Pixxy’s such a good mischief-maker? She has a spell called Fake Tears. That’ll work on the Ardan Elves. They won’t be expecting a child to be so good at lying. We need someone who is wise to her ways. “I know exactly what I’m doing! I want the name Achardis! I don’t care if you call us ‘brothers’ or not; I’ve always been a tomboy anyway. My parents never let me do anything. They were so obsessed with keeping me safe that they never learned how awesome I was! You told me I was just like Toph: a blind girl who taught herself how to walk by feeling the earth beneath her feet. You taught me how to do that with fire!” Toph learned her variety of earth-bending from giant, blind animals called badgermoles. I taught her how to follow fire by teaching her to listen to her instincts. She’s always loved fire-type magic, so I told her to take advantage of that. Pixxy’s favorite fire-type spell is Fire Blast, but if she wants to work a forge, she needs a steadier flame such as Flamethrower. As someone who knows her character, she’s not patient enough to work a forge forever, but if she wants to try it out, she’s welcome to. Some people like staying home and not doing anything. Pixxy likes being busy. Her favorite kind of busy is being a busybody. She has a lot of energy to burn, both literally and figuratively. Sometimes, all you can do in battle is escape, but sometimes, you need to stand your ground and fight! “His mom named him ‘Teleporno!? Hahahahaha!!!” I’m warning you now, that name does not last throughout the years. If anyone’s wondering, “How did you get from Lady Galadriel to Pixxy Fire Fist?” She underwent character development. And so did Shadowron Icy Eyes. All he used to do was follow her around. He does things now! He rounds up all these crazy kids! And no, none of them were inspired by Lord Glorfindel. I added Beowulf’s Glorfindel-y traits in later. And Shadow’s always been like that. All of them except Norawarth and Solnishko are some of the oldest characters I’ve got. And no, Norawarth was not inspired by Amrod, I added the Amrod-y traits later. All stories are inspired by something, I’m simply more upfront about my inspirations than others. Nothing’s new under the sun, but some stars shine anew under the moon. Pixxy wants to get ready for showtime! Forget about the queens of the Woodland Realm, the biggest queen around here is her! She doesn’t need any special powers for that, she just needs to be herself. You know what kind of queen she is? A drama queen. She doesn’t just chew the scenery, she burns it. Literally and metaphorically. Pixxy over-performs all of her lines, Riley under-performs (or yells) his, and Harnor laughs through everything! We all need to learn how to act! Piko and Shadow are the only legit actors we’ve got. Hence why, we make sure the non-actors have roles that they’re already suited for. That way, all they have to do is act natural. Ib’tuur jatne tuur ash’ad kyr’amur. – “Today is a good day for someone else to die.” (Mando’a saying).

Shadowron Icy Eyes. Strong Jaw (boosts power of biting moves), Flash Fire (boosts firepower when hit with fire-type moves). Ice Fang (can cause flinching or freezing), Fire Fang (can cause flinching or burns), Thunder Fang (can cause flinching or paralysis), Agility (sharply increases speed). a light blue wolf. born immune to all cold magic. A wolf with snow-dusted, icy fur and dark brown eyes followed them, wagging his tail slowly, dangerously. He is large for a wolf of Middle-Earth. More akin in size to a warg than a natural beast of Arda. But this beast is trustworthy. “I’m staying a wolf! Call me Drauchir.” Wolf Lord. “I don’t think we need to directly state whom in Arda I was inspired by. Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel at least, will be able to infer it on their own. Ardan Elves aren’t just Champions of Beauty, you know.” He doesn’t need to be a Pokémon to play by Pokémon rules. There aren’t any ice-type wolf Pokémon anyway. Doesn’t talk much. Pixxy gave him Flash Fire before she shifted over to a Braixen. Now, Fire Fang powers up when hit with fire type attacks! He didn’t have a special ability to give her in return, but she didn’t care. His protection and safety was more important to her. Pixxy wanted us to ride a Xerneas. No! I don’t want to ride a Xerneas, I want to ride Shadowron Icy Eyes! “Pixxy Fire Fist! Stop treating Lord Celeborn like an afterthought! He did things, just not in the movie version!” Well, of course she’s not going to read the books, she’s blind! And an animal! Honestly! Ironically, Lady Galadriel did more fighting than Lord Celeborn and Lord Glorfindel did across all six of these things~. (Blind people do read books, that one doesn’t. There’s a special language called Braille that involves raised dots. It’s a language based on feeling the characters. If anyone would appreciate that, it’s the Dwarves, Humans, and Hobbits. There aren’t exactly a lot of blind Elves. I shall teach them the principles, they can figure it out from there). Another reason Pixxy prefers the movie version is because that’s the one Captain Tauriel’s in. So what else did Lord Celeborn do besides defend Lórien (not Irmo’s place, their future place) and marry Lady Galadriel…? Forget about messing with Lord Elrond, what were Lord Celeborn’s qualifications for marrying Lady Galadriel: the most beautiful and most magical elf of all??? “I say there’s an even more magical elf than Lady Galadriel and that silly Balrog-slayer. Lord Celeborn! The guy who convinced her to say ‘Apa coranar mine, vestuvangwe!’ instead of ‘Ai, vestale sina lá ambartongwe’ without any magic at all. He did it by being himself. Lord Celeborn’s a prince of Doriath. He also ruled a fiefdom under Gil-Galad. Gil-Galad’s the Mand’alor of the Elves. When he calls, the Elves come―including the commando units: Woodland Realmers.” Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn actually learned from what happened to Finwë and Miriel! They married in the First Age yet didn’t have any kids until the Second Age! They truly are the best Elves ever! “Finwë is Lady Galadriel’s grandfather. Of course they learned from this. Plus, by then, there were other things to do besides make babies. They had a kingdom to establish! Lady Galadriel had ambition, Lord Celeborn had connections.” We’re not playing Aristocats, we’re playing Encanto. And we don’t talk about Bruno! We’ll leave the Hobbits out of this. They don’t deserve this nonsense. You know whose parentage is also in dispute, did not slay his kin, is terrible at babysitting, and also reincarnates―? “Re-embodies.” Whatever! ―Lord Glorfindel!!! “Sometimes bad things happen. You can’t always save everybody. Some truths need to come to pass. You put enough pressure on yourself even without the weight of literal worlds on your shoulders. If all you want to do is play with your animals, everyone in Arda will understand why. Lord Celeborn will make sure of it. Pokémon lore is horrific too, when you haven’t grown up with it like you have. Hisuan Zoruas are vengeful children who come back to life in a forest? and Phantumps are spirits of children who died in a forest, became trapped in a tree stump, and started leading others to also die in that forest?” Well. Yeah. You’re right… That is pretty horrific if you stop to think about it. The problem is, there is no time to think about it. When you’ve been working with these colorful, magical animals as long as I have, and you’re dead inside like I am, and you’ve been digesting even more horrific stories―including your own life―Pokémon is horror for babies. “Your mother may not have wanted to you playing with us, but your daddy was such a softie that he smuggled us in anyway.” That’s right, he did! “You’re not bad at singing. The way you were ‘taught’ to sing was in a group. Alright, kids, the most important thing we need to remember is that as of SA 1600, Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel aren’t the lord and lady of Lórien yet.” What do you mean they’re not the leaders of Lórien yet!?!? “They’ve waited this long for a kingdom of their own. They don’t have much longer to wait.” I don’t give a fuck who’s ruling it now. Their death’s definitely coming to pass! “Why don’t we just wait until the Third Age?” Ne shab’rud’ni… – “Don’t mess with me…”; extremely strong warning likely to be followed by violence. & ka’rta – heart or soul & ke’gyce – command, order & kov’nyn – headbutt, Keldabe kiss (Mando’a proverb & terms). Sometimes Keldabe kisses are more gentle than that―especially if you’re not wearing a helmet!

Commander Riley: Sometimes it’s fun to call him just Riley. “That’s Commander Riley to you!” Shorn, brown hair. Tawny skin. Brown eyes. Sturdy and tall. The commander of cuddling! Loves Vulptexes (icy, crystalline foxes) from Crait. He’s gonna love Toshiro and Tadashi! “We’ve embraced how weird he is, and so will all of you!!! Me and my brothers are from a world where magical children are put in charge of flying ships of slaves. Those are considered the ‘good guys’; the bad guys use moving, metal idiots! That world’s not worthy of him! This one’s better! Not everybody’s suited for warfare, and not everybody’s suited for domestic tasks. He doesn’t need an army, he just needs a squad. The best squad ever! We are the 843rd! We’ve rescued Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker dozens of times already. And now Master Yoda’s given Anakin a padawan!? Is he out of his mind?! Fuck that bullshit, we’re out! Ardan warfare’s easier! We can just be a bunch of magical animals! That, he can lead just fine! Alright, you stupid fucking morons, we need to get our Jedi some shore leave! In the meantime, everybody needs to learn the standard equipment; if you learn any of the marvelous moves, that’s just marvelous! Jed’ika, don’t you dare use force dyads! You are not dying for anybody here! You told Shadow to stop carrying a wakizashi because it was a suicide blade. You didn’t want him dying for you, you wanted him living with you! You are staying alive! We can’t save your father, but we can save you! Pokémon magic has everything covered! We’ll bring in magic that can kill things later! You over-complicate everything! The only legit Force power we need is Battle Meditation. We’ll explain what it is later!” He refuses to evolve into anything. He’s staying an Eevee, just like how Piko is staying a Pikachu. “I going by Celeblas!” Silver Leaf. Ba’slan shev’la. – “Strategic disappearance.” & Copaani gaan? – “Need a hand?” & adade – “personnel” & aliit “family, clan, tribe” & be’sol – priority (Mando’a proverbs).

Lucky and Lockdown: triplets with Kenken. They’re normally under Riley’s command, but he needs some shore leave, too. Shorn, brown hair. Tawny skin. Lucky has brownish-blue eyes, Lockdown has bluer eyes. “We’re very, very passionate about starting fires!!!” “Death to Decommissioners! death to decommissioners!” “Always side with whoever’s protecting children!” Just let them burn trash, that’ll keep ’em happy… for now. We’re Lucky to be alive with Lockdown leading! They’re both terrible leaders, but Lockdown’s worse. He panics if Lucky’s gone for more than an hour. Lucky becomes a balrog if Lockdown starts panicking. it’s not a literal balrog, it’s just a flareon. Just let Lucky call himself a balrog. They’re mischief makers, alright. They make as much mischief as possible to make sure they’re never apart. Lockdown can become a vaporeon. He wants to learn how to swim. Let’s start in a bathtub. we’ll play in wild waters later. Lucky needs a bath! He smells! We can use waterless shampoo! I love them just the way they are, and so will all of you!!! “We’re not leaving the fate of this world up to a stupid human man and a healer! Throw Elrond into the fire too if that’s what it takes to get rid of that thing!” “No!!! We wanna twin battle his twins and Princess Dís’s twins!” “Who cares!? We’re all better twins those twins!” “Please?” “…Very well. Elrond’s staying alive for breeding purposes, that’s it! And someone needs to be the lord of Rivendel anyway. Glorfindel’s never gonna do it. He’s just a vassal, and he knows it!” (they’re not arguing with each other, they’re arguing with Toshiro and Tadashi. Everybody, just relax. The ring will eventually take care of itself. We’re here to have some fun! And stop insulting Lord Glorfindel for being a vassal! Leading a kingdom’s a lot of hard work! He may not have done anything in the movies, but he did slightly more things in the books. Besides, we’re taking him on an even crazier adventure: keeping us alive long enough to sail to Valinor in order to hero-worship all these moms!) “Fine. Let’s pick some stupid Elven names…” They’re Globuk (All Fools), but they do mean well. Lucky’s going with Nordil (Lover/Friend of the Fire), Lockdown’s going with Nendil (Lover/Friend of the Water/Lake). In their people forms, they carry the Dragon Gun. It does all the gun things. The only settings they care to use are the machine gun setting, the rocket launcher setting, and the grenade launcher setting. “It fires Darksabers now!” Excellent! As Wolfgang said, we don’t do everything with just Pokémon magic around here. Sooran, shab! – Contemptuous and triumphant comment – like “suck on that, chum!” (Mando’a proverb).

Kenken: always following his brothers around. “Lucky and Lockdown are completely irresponsible!” Quiet when he’s not yelling at them. Longer hair than the rest of his brothers, but still within GAR regulation. Tawny skin. Brownish-yellow eyes. Likes reading and staying on the ship. He’s reading Circe by Madeline Miller, Tomorrow on Revelation III by Dominic Dickey and C. J. Linton and Robots VS Fairies edited by Dominik Parisien and Navah Wolfe. He’s also got his eye on The Song of Achilles (also by Madeline Miller). He’s always reading a bunch of books at once. Not a mischief maker at all, but that’s okay; Lucky and Lockdown make plenty of mischief just by themselves. Add in Pixxy, oh boy. And just wait ’til we bring in Toshiro and Tadashi! They’re all going to be terrible influences on each other… Good luck! Kenken knows there’s more than two genders. It’s a fact of life in a galaxy far, far away. To others, it’s a revelation. “Nobody in Middle-Earth is ready for Shimmer. Even you’re not ready for Shimmer, and you’re the one who created that damn angel in the first place.” That’s right I’m not. Kenken wants to learn all he can in order to learn how to be respectful. “You would think of all the essays that he wrote coming in, he’d write one about the one thing the Ardan Elves would definitely be curious about.” I’m tired, okay!? “We’ll write an essay about that later. We’ve got the most important one: how to take care of you.” Kenken would love to be a Jolteon, once he’s ready for a Thunderstone. He has to become a Jolteon to keep up with Lucky and Lockdown’s shenanigans anyway. “I’d prefer to be an Espeon, but yes, he’s correct; you need to be a Jolteon in order to keep up with those balrogs. And since Psychic-type Pokémon are weak to Dark-type magic, it’s not exactly advantageous to be an Espeon here.” Beyond that, Jolteons have Volt Absorb, which lets them heal with electric-type magic! I’ll give Kenken a Jolteon and an Espeon form for being such a good sport. “Aw, thanks, Jed’ika! He really is abusing this ‘power in a name’ thing you’ve got here. He knows that only Elvish names are supposed to have power here. In previous writings, he declared that ‘all languages have power now’. Guess which language Lucky and Lockdown are going to pick..?” Axes to the Foxes!!! “They always go with the most warrior-like culture. I’ve been dealing with their antics for years. I’ll keep ’em in storage, alright. The reason he named himself Harnor in his writings about Fate is because he needs to remember that he himself is wounded. Just treat him as if he’d been raised by Orcs. I suppose if I myself should have an Ardan Elven name, I shall go by Faron.” Sufficient One. “His knowledge of this world is sufficient. Many healing hands make light work. Healing Hands is a Skyrim restoration spell. It heals others. As he keeps saying, it may sound like hell, but it’s fun!” Su cuy’gar! – “Hello!”; literally: “So you’re still alive.” (Mando’a proverbs).

Toshiro (Japanese. talented, intelligent) and Tadashi (Japanese. faithful, proper). They have black hair and blue eyes when in their Elven form. They love Jude from Tales of Xillia because he’s basically just like them: an evasive, healing, fighting unit. They are very excited to meet Lord Elrond. Remember to bow and say “Suil! Êl síla erin lû e-govaded ‘wîn.” Or if that’s too hard to say, just say “Greetings! A star shines upon the hour of our meeting.” We have quite a few grim tidings for him. And if King Gil-Galad is wondering what fate has in store for him, we could look it up. Or we can just accept the fact that some fates are best left hidden. Some truths need to come to pass… Tadashi, I’m giving you a Skyrim spell called Healing Hands. It helps heal others. Pokémon only level up by fighting, but in Skyrim, you level up by doing anything, including healing and talking. We’re not bringing the Skyrim combat-related magic in―yet. Lord Elrond will definitely appreciate another healer in the house―once he considers you knowledgeable and wise enough to do so. There’s a lot more that goes into being a healer than being magical. You just got here. We need to remember that in Encanto, the matriarch of the family was so obsessed with contributing to the community that she forgot what the family’s magic was actually for: her family. Lord Elrond might not want you hanging on his shoulders like I do. I’ll go back to giving you piggy-back rides later. I need healing too. Shadowron Icy Eyes will definitely give you a ride. “We’re a unified unit! We’re twins who never unlink except as ice foxes, ice foxes, ice foxes! We’re coming too!” They were twins in one body. I can’t give them separate people bodies, but I can make them Alolan Vulpixes. “We want the name Helchon!” Bitter Cold One. While I’ve said in other writings that the Redanian Elves aren’t responsible enough to be here, these two are. Besides, they’re not exactly well connected to their personhood after what they’ve been through… They were always like this. In the world I’m originally from, we call this “plural”. I told them to call it “unified unit” because I figured that’d be an easier way to translate the concept to Ardan Elves. They are two souls unified within one body. Some unified units are more united than others. Toshiro and Tadashi from a family of people who were even more stubborn than Ardan Dwarves. “Everyone thought we were crazy, and not the fun kind of crazy…” They can be the fun kind of crazy here! Within reason. Toshiro handles the fighting, Tadashi handles the healing. They want to team up with Lucky and Lockdown to have a battle of the twins against Elrohir, Elladan, Fíli, and Kíli. None of them have been born! Elrohir and Elladan’s parents haven’t even met yet! “Aw…” Just practice fighting each other. It’s gonna take forever, but consummation without permission is the most dishonorable thievery of all. People are easily charmed by petty tricks and vapid conversations. Monsters need something better than that. If anyone can teach Lucky and Lockdown that it’s okay to be more independent from each other, it’s you guys. You were born together, they were born apart. I am the ultimate Mandalorian with or without the Darksaber; I know all these kids’ names as my family! They all need the best avenger ever on their side: Acharor, leader of the Team Red Rebels! The family that stays together slays together! “Rally, Red Rebels!” Tadashi likes hosting tea parties. Toshiro prefers starting food fights. Toshiro can figure out how to fight with anything. He’s a little too intelligent and talented for his own good. This is what he’s doing as a child, Tadashi is his parking breaks. Call them Helchon or TnT if you’re addressing both of them, but they do appreciate being addressed individually. The differences are subtle, but they’re there. Believe it or not, there’s another thing we need to deal with besides teaching Toshiro to not waste food here. Riley and Pixxy are fighting over who gets to play Queen Guinevere… “Those are my brothers!!!” “Oh my god! Whatever!!!” Toshiro, Tadashi, and Shadow are the most socially graceful (by Ardan Elf standards) friends I’ve got, by the way. Good fucking luck! Hey, Toshiro! Why don’t you teach everybody how we play chess? ~ kandosii – indomitable, ruthless; used colloquially as noble or classy as well; awesome. & iviin’yc – fast, quickly. & tome – together. & mirdala – clever. & adiik – child aged 3 to 13. & baar’ur – medic & bes’laar – music & Vor’e – “Thanks” (Mando’a words).

Beowulf. Spirit Call (howls for the ancestors he or his child use it, and boosts ghost-type moves), Snow Warning, Snow Cloak (causes temporarily hailstorms, and boosts evasion during those hailstorms). Person form: shaggy, short dark-brown hair; bulky build, brown skin with cool undertones. father of Wolfgang. Beowulf’s heart is bound to his wife’s in life and in death. He’s raising their child right this time! She doesn’t have to guard the village on her own anymore, there’s plenty of people who can guard the village. He’s going from being a working class old man to renewed youth. He’s excited! “I haven’t run like this in ages! Come on, Wolfgang, let’s go hunting!” Both of them become giant, dark blue wolves when they take off their fur cloaks. They don’t need those cloaks to stay warm, they need them for shapeshifting. “If your mother ever banished you from her heart, I would banish her from mine. You are my child, no matter what you are.” He’s a werewolf! Werewolves are freakin’ shape-shifters! Why would they be bound to one state of being―physically or spiritually? Beowulf, Wolfgang, and Shadow are the only ones who give enough of a damn about honor to actually get along with anyone in Middle-Earth. “Well, of course none of them care for honor, respectability, or politics―they’re children! And more importantly, who do you think’s been raising them? Call me Tiror.” Guard/Watcher. Beowulf is always telling such unbelievable stories that even Wolfgang, his own child, doesn’t believe him anymore! But that’s okay! We’ve got the ultimate baby who’ll believe absolutely anything you tell him: Chu! Everyone in this family is wise to his heavily, intentionally biased point of view except him.

Wolfgang. Spirit Call (howls for the ancestors when she or her father use it, and boosts ghost-type moves), Snow Warning, Snow Cloak. also has a dark blue cloak. also a lone wolf, like her father. amputated right arm (never had one). She knows I can just give her an ice-type or even a ghost-type arm, but she doesn’t want one. she’s never had two arms. Besides, you don’t need two arms to fight as a wolf. fights primarily by kicking in her human form. On the muscular side. short for a human, but average for her people. Bored by politics and people who beat around the bush to be respectable. Will respect you more if you just tell her your demands. Likely still won’t comply with them, but she won’t completely humiliate you in a fight afterwards. She’s good at cutting through when social norms and expectations obfuscate the heart of a matter. “The real political game is managing all my stupid friends!” At the end of the day, she knows that her friends aren’t stupid, they just weren’t raised properly, and she uses rowdyruff language―which some people respond better to than powerpuff language. Both her and Beowulf will need to be careful in Middle-Earth summers. Wolfgang never goes out of her way to conform to gender expectations. She’s not super connected to womanhood. She has no memories of her mother, but she knows she was excited to have a daughter (she read her diary). She began worrying if her mom would want a gender-nonconforming one like her, but Beowulf set her straight. The reason those worries even came up is because she had a friend whose mother was always nagging her over not being 100% girly. That friend was Pixxy Fire Fist. “Whatever! I’ll go by Tirriel.” Daughter of the Guard/Watcher. So Wolfgang’s got quite an issue to work out. Her mom wasn’t just anybody. It was Bliza: the Redanian goddess of cold magic. She didn’t take it very well. First of all, she thought Beowulf was telling yet another one of his heavily, intentionally biased stories. When he finally got through to her that he was indeed telling the truth, she killed him again. Literally, not metaphorically. People and animals come back to life all the time in Redania. Redanians can defy anything, including death itself! The reason Beowulf waited this long to tell her is because he knew his child was absolutely not ready to accept the idea that her mother was a goddess. A literal one, not a metaphorical one like Wolfgang always assumed how he meant it. If this is how she’s reacting to her quirky yet beloved father breaking the news to her, who knows how she’ll react to actually meeting the goddess whose village they’ve been guarding this whole time―who is also her mom. “Come on, now don’t you want to hear about how we met?” “No, dad! Leave me alone!” “Oh no! I just came back to life! You’re my werepup! I’m not leaving you alone ever again! I will wrestle you to sleep if that’s what I need to do to help you relax!”

Solnishko Rory-Morgan Wells (aka Blitz). Solnishko (Russian, Little Star). Blitz (German, Lightning). Hey, Kenken, you don’t need to be a Jolteon, we got Solnishko! Blitz literally moves and strikes as fast as and with lightning! Lightning shadows his every step! It was light blue to start out with, but it’s cobalt now that he’s recovered. “I can also make giant water tornadoes by running on water!” There’s lots of water for you to run on in Imladris! We got plenty of killers even just with the 843rd alone! What we need you to do is get Lady Celebrían and the rest of her escort away from the Orcs. “Got it!” You were raised by the “bad guys”. The patriarch of your family wasn’t really treating his partner-in-crime very well, but he got better! He didn’t appreciate his partner’s explosive nature and love of fire. That’s exactly what you needed. You needed the most passionate older brother ever. The minute he saw you, he knew he had to get you out of there! You were cold and alone in the dark. You were dressed as lightly as possible to keep you from accessing your power. The right side of your face is permanently a cobweb of scars because of the guy who kidnapped you. Your right eye is white instead of brown. “I don’t mind that. I’m proud of my scars! They hurt sometimes, but Mick taught me how to take care of them.” You may have called them brothers, but they were really acting more like parents. They were afraid to admit that because of their own horrible family history. And when your blood family found out about you, your dad wanted you to be the child who “should have” grown up with him, but he got better. You united heroes and villains alike. You did it by being yourself: loving and kind after 14 years in hell! Let’s go on a new adventure, in Middle-Earth! “What do we want to do first?” Let’s rescue Lady Celebrían! That rescue mission will be a piece of cake! Before we go, how would you like a Sindarin name? “I already picked one out!” Nice! What is it? “Elmir (Star-Jewel).” That’s perfect for you! “One more! And then we’ve got 16! I’d like to be a Zigzagoon too when you get to it.” Hoenn or Galaran? “Hoenn, obviously!” Anything for you, mir-nin! dar’yaim – a hell, a place you want to forget. & ka’ra – stars & (Mando’a proverbs / terms).

Norawarth (Sindarin. fire-forsaking): Has dark red hair and reddish-brown eyes. She’s enjoying growing her hair out longer. I want to learn how to braid it. “You do not even know how to braid hair?” Nobody in my family had long hair that was long enough to braid! “I see…” She’s on the tall side, but she says she has brothers who are taller. I’ve asked her about her brothers, but she told me she’d rather not speak of them. “You would take the rejected names for Amrod and Amros? No! Those names are not for you to take, although I am sure Nerdanel would appreciate the intent behind it. You have plenty of names picked out already: Harnor, Calemir, Acharor. Fëanor does not deserve you. Worry not about him and his sons. Lady Galadriel is a better descendent of Finwë for you to obsess over. While you most certainly can delegate Lady Celebrían’s defense to anyone in Lothlórien or Imladris, let me show you the power of an Ardan Elf. You know the time and place, I know how to fight. And you are correct, Lord Glorfindel is too pure and incorruptible to be the Dremora Lord of anything. And so are you! Your Dremora Lord is a pretender. You do not need to know how to read a map. Clairvoyance helps you find your objective. You worry too much. The real reason you are ill-suited for warfare is because you are too nice!” The minute I showed her Advanced Genders 101-103, she said it was like her “soul shined with sunlight after a lifetime in the rain”. We met in a dream where she was hiding under my bed. Her father, either a literal fire-demon or represented as one, was hunting her down. She didn’t even like her name. I gave her a better one. She’s a Calemir’ad now! She’s terrified of water. Understandable. She drowned in icy waters trying to get away from him. She doesn’t have to learn how to swim or use any water magic, there’s plenty of other magic we can teach her instead. Believe it or not, Norawarth, there’s someone who’s even more afraid of water than you! Lucky… “I, too, do not mind being counted as a Brother. There is no Sindarin word for ‘sibling’. And as you said, there is more to gender than man or woman. Perhaps I am both. This is all very new to me. I seek to enjoy my newfound womanhood more at the moment. I shall explore my nonbinary power in Redania, where it is safer to do so. There is quite a lot to think about gender.” Ke barjurir gar’ade, jagyc’ade kot’la a dalyc’ade kotla’shya. – “Train your sons to be strong but your daughters to be stronger” especially if others wouldn’t consider them to be daughters (Mando’a saying, with my patch notes).


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