People don’t like when Powerpuff Girls want to become Rowdyruff Boys.
Content warnings, in order: description of real life transphobia targeting trans men, fictional powerful man preying on a younger one, description of real life child abuse and neglect.
I don’t care what it’s called, trans-misandry exists! This phenomenon needs a name. I’m calling it trans-misandry in this article!!! Binary trans men are not treated the same way as binary cis men are. And that’s not even getting into nonbinary trans men and gender-nonconforming trans men.
Queer people and allies generally accept that trans-misogyny is a thing, but for whatever reason, when we’re talking about trans men, everybody pretends that trans men are loved exactly how they are. Nothing in life is binary, including bigotry!
Here’s an excerpt from a draft of a story that explains this perfectly (and a link to said draft. content warning: a powerful man preying on a vulnerable one).
He’d picked one who was neglected by his community, his family. Ostracized for asserting his manhood. The Elvenking thought that was strange. From his dealings with humans, he knew that they preferred men, so they should’ve loved the prince as much as he did.
Ultimately, it served his purposes, he supposed. Some compliments here and there and a child’s bout of shapeshifting filled the prince with gratitude. It was the oddest seduction the Elvenking had ever performed.
He followed him into the Forest willingly.
Anyone who pretends this phenomenon doesn’t exist is childish. If I asserted my manhood―even just binary manhood―to my parents, I would not be treated the same way my cis brothers are. I am not safe in my home. My parents have a gun. They could kill me if they wanted to. I don’t think they would, but it’s a possibility. I could also be thrown out of the house, or made even more of a laughingstock than I already am to the rest of the family. The one person who even questioned if I was trans was my uncle, and he didn’t ask nicely.
As previously stated, I don’t care what we call it―trans-misandry, as a phenomenon, exists. We’re so busy arguing over what to call it that we’re not actually fighting the damn thing! I’ve got a character named Wolfgang. Here’s a link to her toyhouse page.
“She is good at cutting through when social norms and expectations obfuscate the heart of a matter.”
Every culture has its problems, and another problem amongst trans people and our allies is that, generally―I know that not everybody acts like this, but shut up and learn something!―trans women and their allies are too much like the middle child of my family (let’s call him Ace). Trans men and their allies are too much like the youngest child of my family (let’s call him Jason).
As a child, Ace would explode when he was angry. He was physically abusive and so competitive that he started crying and yelling when he “won wrong”. He was a bully. I was generally safe from him. I was older and stronger. Jason was an easier target anyway. I was the tallest, yet I always had to sit between them in car rides; because otherwise, they’d start fighting each other.
Jason was a pushover. He couldn’t fight back because Ace was bigger and stronger than him. I would do my best, but of course neither of them really listened to me. As the “woman” of the household, I wasn’t supposed to be the leader, the “men” were. Every time I babysat them was a nightmare. There was at least one time I vividly remember thinking Ace was genuinely going to kill Jason because of how angry he got over a game. Ace’s bedroom door is permanently damaged now because of this.
Our mother was convinced it was videogames that caused this. No, it was bad parenting. Generally, when Ace had a game to play during all these nightmarish car rides, he left me and Jason alone. Maybe if he’d had a physical activity to do and some friends, he might’ve mellowed out sooner. We were all socially isolated during what’s considered the “social period” of brain development. I succeeded in that environment, Ace didn’t. We didn’t even have a yard to play in until I was a pre-teen. Nobody in my family is willing to learn from something other than a 400-year-old book and their pastor. Not every single Christian is like this, but my family is.
My brothers are better behaved now. Maybe binary trans people can become better behaved too. You just need a better education. You all need to grow up! Stop fighting like Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys! Not all men are demons, and not all women are angels. People hate trans men, too; we’re just less visible than trans women. Binary trans people need to stop starting cat fights and learn the power of cooperation.
And yes, we need more people speaking out against trans-misogyny too. Everybody, calm down! All trans people need more allies. There are places that are safer for us, but nowhere is truly safe for us. We need to stand united because we’re falling divided.
Like I said, nothing in life is binary, including bigotry.
Sometimes, all you can do in battle is escape; but sometimes, you need to stand your ground and fight. We cannot fight transphobia on our own. It’s deeply rooted into every community, including ours. Transphobia against men is still transphobia. And again, I don’t care what we call it, it exists! Transphobia is a weed. We need as many weedkillers as possible! If we wanna educate cis and binary people, we need to educate ourselves first.
My friend Ovaettr wrote this article about Texas’s infamous Heartbeat Bill. It details how transphobia affects children. And this one, also by Ovaettr, goes into transphobia within the cis community. Ovaettr is really good at writing about “breaking news”, I can’t reccommend xem enough.
Lastly, here’s an article by me about how Gender and Attraction is a Shitshow. It’s a more advanced lesson. I deliberately set nonbinary trans people aside for this article to stick to the point: trans men are not celebrated like cis men are. I highly recommend reading Ovaettr’s articles first before digging into that one unless you’re already educated on nonbinary matters.
We all need to act more wisely because cis people act more dangerously. Do we want to be fighting each other, or our real enemies? Stop starting cat fights and be more like the Lion Guard. If the Lion Guard can protect the Pridelands while being made up of a bunch of different baby animals, we can defend our Pride too. We don’t need a physical location or a nation, we just need to learn the power of cooperation. Go forth and get yourselves an education!
Trans pride forever, trans folks together!